Inner Parents

(Due to Hlightenoliday Monday my blog came out on Tuesday morning)

Put away the cheese. Straighten up the fridge. Be in by 10. Clean up the bathroom. Don’t eat anymore butter tarts. You reach a point where when you leave home it can be a relief. Finally, if you want you can eat from the peanut butter jar. You can have your music on late at night, and best of all you can talk on the phone whenever you want.

What is the usefulness of an inner parent?

Time goes by and things change once again. You can see the purpose behind a parenting voice. Even the nagging seemed to have a point, not that you’d want it back again. Somewhere inside you, there is a part of you that can be your inner parent. You can tell yourself things like not to eat all the cookies or you’ll get sick. You can guide your timetable and make it manageable. You can tell yourself things like pay attention to your friend’s birthdays.

When you reach this point it is a good time to recognize the importance of a consistent, healthy and achievable life that requires limits as well as freedoms.

When I visit home on holidays, although it’s nice to see everyone it sure is nice to get back home where I can take a nap in the day and no one complains or nags. There are still freedoms that I enjoy.  It’s nice to do the things I want at my own pace and in my own way. It’s extra nice to hear the compliments of my own inner parent.

What is the compromise between your own guidance and your parents?

There were things I didn’t like growing up. No television during the day, no pop except on holidays, bedroom doors stayed open and time outside was a must. Now, sometimes I like these rules because they shaped who I am today. But sometimes they get in the way of enjoying natural freedoms. Did you have any rules in your family that you sort of liked?

Your inner parent can compromise with the limits you grew up with and the way you’d like to lead your life. You can find ways to reward yourself. You can do things differently than your parents did but use some of the same guidelines. Often parents have reasons for acting the way they do and probably they were even your parents for a reason. Sometimes even their lack of smart parenting can motivate you to be good to yourself and to do good things with your life. You can develop your own sense of good living and the limits thy taught might be part of that.

What are my food choices now that I’m older?

I decided that eating candy was okay. It was always a treat and we never got it growing up. It helps if I put in a long day or if I’ve accomplished something. Also, I can see the reasons for not eating candy as well.

My parents fed me an earthy diet which was good at times. I explored many types of food when grown up. I enjoyed making up recipes and liked to try things like, white bread every once in a while or Nutella. So you see there was a compromise with the good healthy foods we learned to enjoy and the sweeter or richer foods that can be comfort foods.

Now that I’ve tried a lot of different foods I find myself amazed at the variety. Sushi with a friend is a favourite of mine.

I’d like to think that my own inner parent gives me good guidance now a days. This is the case because I’ve seen that a good committment to living a good healthy, clean life can lead to my goals and dreams coming true. I hope some of you are also on the path to achieving your goals. Accepting the part of you that is an inner parent might be of help.


About friendofsnowflake

It is my pleasure to welcome you to my Blog! My name is Melanie and my nic-name Snowflake as you may already know. I'm excited to share some of my ideas and writings with you. It's interesting how psychological concepts can make things a little clearer. I have a psychology degree from the University of Waterloo. It is my hope that I can share some knowledge with you. Some of my hobbies include playing piano, guitar, drawing and more recently beading. It also really interesting to recieve comments from the amazing people who read my Blog. I hope if you feel inclined that you will tell me a bit about yourself. I would like to think that some special time spent off the net is also important for you or me. In this time you could sing or dance or just sit with a book. In the mean-time it's nice to have met you because there is some quality time spent on the net. I hope you have had time to look at your favourite song or look up your favourite author. My favorite song is True Colour by Cyndi Lauper and my favourite author is Gretchin Rubin. I feel gratitude that I can write this Blog. I hope you come back and see what new Blog is here over time. In the mean time have a great day and stay you!

Posted on May 21, 2013, in Balance, Depression, anger and negativity, Emotions, friendship, goal setting, Happiness, Self Esteem and Positivity, mental health, mental illness, New Age Psychology, schizophrenia and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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